The Atlanta Journal

He was a science and I was confident that, ultimately, for the first time in my life, going to get the haircut I wanted. You see I thought, stupidly, that somehow it would be different here. So my wife and I were at the scene designer. It was, not that he needed a haircut, but to hold my hand. I told the haircut person, with unfailing linguistic accuracy, how I wanted my hair cut. l a muttered something back to my clear and concise Spanish that I did not understand, and then went to work. When finished, put on my glasses. When I looked in the mirror, I looked like a slightly taller version of Drew Carey and Skinner.

I put the visor on his head, paid the guy, and slipped away. I let it grow and tried this time only with a different facility. " This time it was a woman who cut my hair. I went through the whole routine again. Only this time, I contacted a fellow expat, who is a fluent Spanish speaker, and trim to explain the lessons from it. I was even better prepared. I went through the test, but came out looking like a fat version of Justin Timberlake.

This is when the universal law of the salon was established firmly in my mind. No matter where you go on this planet, you always get the haircut the hairdresser THINK they want and there's nothing you can do about it-ever! I knew I had to do something. I could not afford to go to the United States just to get a haircut. What to do now is take my passport with me to get a haircut. For my passport picture, I had my head shaved to a velvety shrub. I could use my head like a glow-pad. This has been working all the time. This leaves no room for creative license of the person haircut and go exactly the way I want it every time. It's foolproof! I'm happy. My hair is happy. It's one less worry. Except try to go to the doctor and explain how it painful and embarrassing itch of hemorrhoids. Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His new book, Mexican: Blogging from a third world country can be seen in